Love, Attitude and Happiness lead to Self Awareness

Dear Readers,

Thank you for your continuous support and encouragement. As per your votes on Facebook Questions - here is a story based on your highest votes for Non fiction Life Lessons, since the second highest votes were for a Romantic Story I thought blending some emotions of Love would help in not disappointing those of you who voted for it. This small story will do an interaction with your sub consciousness mind, as you read it answer the questions to yourself which I have addressed to you.

When there is Love, all the attitude changes. There is a big difference in attitude, have you noticed this? Suppose you have a very nice crockery set in your home and if your son or daughter or sibling, somebody very dear to you breaks it, what do you say? 'Oh, never mind, doesn't matter'. But if your servant breaks or somebody whom you dislike breaks it; See, how your attitude varies towards the same thing that has happened. Or your nice new carpet, somebody has spilt tea in it. So if you have done it or somebody very dear has done it, you say ' Oh, it doesn't matter. Ok, anyway happened'. You murmur a little, grumble a little and then stop. But if somebody else has done it your whole attitude towards them is different, isn't it? So when there is love, you are ready to undergo or undertake any strain or discomfort or problem, they don't appear to be very big. Then, tolerance comes in you naturally. If you are determined, your love for something, makes you do anything for what you want.

If you love sight seeing, then you don't mind any discomfort, you go around sight seeing anywhere. If you love adventure, you go for it. Same way, if you love money very much, then you put your whole life earning money. You get ulcers, blood pressure, diabetes and getting all that, in spite of it, you work, work, work and work. What for? Just to have Money!!!

But happiness is something that which expands. Whatever is constricting is not happiness. When you are happy, have you noticed how you feel? the mind expands. Examples of which I have quoted in my previous post love is in the air. At the same time when you are unhappy, what happens? The mind shrinks. So whenever you think "Mine, Mine" - the mind is shrinking. 'My son. my daughter, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my car, my bike, my room, my laptop, my this my that! - the mind shrinks. Whenever mind shrinks, it is bound to bring unhappiness. And when mind expands it brings joy!

When you go beyond happiness, what happens? The mind expands at the same time is not unconscious. Usually, when you are happy, you become spaced out, you are not focused. When you are unhappy, you are very focused. But there is a beautiful combination of both - you are happy, at the same time alert and focused, that is called Self Awareness. 

The secret of walking on water

Life is an amazing gimmick!

Each one of us would agree that in our Journey of Life we grow with times, the sense of maturity comes with handful of experiences which we remember all our life. You might not remember your first steps you took in your childhood but ask your parents they will tell every little detail of the epic.You might not remember the first time you said Pa or Ma but ask your elders they will tell you since for them these are the memories that life has bestowed upon them. 

What you might remember is how you dived first time in the swimming pool and how scared were you before taking the first step. You might remember peddling your cycle around and falling off. With age we all learn from our mistakes. Mistakes are bound to happen else life would not have been so dramatic. If mistakes were not a part of our lives we would have been just Machines! Mistakes bring the sense of humanity in us. 

In life we come across different kinds of people. Time tells us who will stay with us and who will choose to exit from our lives. People come and go, they all come for a reason. One lesson that life teaches us for sure is to Never Expect - building expectations leads to unhappiness. In our existence in this world we tend to attach a lot of emotions and expectations from everyone and when it does not meets our expectations we feel sad and disheartened. 

Like the product life cycle also has a decline stage - so do we - sometimes feeling low is that stage in our life which leads to depression - loss of interest in activities which seemed fun and interesting sometime back. Like in Corporate we do re-positioning to the product to keep the cycle running in our lives too we have to re-introduce the sense of belonging. Taking life lightly as it comes, ignoring the problems and being solution -oriented to reinforce the spirit of life. 

We come across various difficult times in life when we get clueless about how, why, what to do ? These are the gimmicks of life. All you got to do is Plan for the best and Prepare for the worst - that's the secret of Walking on water - the Journey of our life is like a river flowing - just floating with flow.

So the secret of walking on water is to know where the stones are hidden.   

Mistakes

Blessed are those who don’t see a mistake as a mistake! However, it is hard not to see your own mistake. Outwardly you may justify yourself or prove your innocence to someone else, but a mistake pricks your conscience. Do not justify yourself. Instead, feel the prick of the mistake. That very pinch will take you out of the mistake.

While pointing out a mistake to someone, do you consider him as separate from you and go on pointing out his error or do you make him feel a part of you? When you point out a mistake to someone, does it make him more stressed, or does it create or awareness in that person?  Often you do not point out someone’s mistake when it is required. Pointing out a mistake without due consideration to time and place is also a mistake.

When you keep doing the same mistake over and over, it a BIG mistake. A mistake simply means you have missed taking a lesson that has come your way. Do no lament over your mistake. Just take the lesson from it. You will not be judged by your mistakes, but by your virtues.

Wise is the one who learns from other’s mistakes. Less wise is the one who learns from one’s own mistakes. The fool keeps making the same mistakes again and again and never learns from them.

Mistakes happen all the time. Often you get irritated by mistakes and you want to correct them, but how many can you correct? You correct others’ mistakes for two reasons. The first is when you correct someone for their own sake, so that they can grow, and not because it bothers you. Correcting mistakes for the first reason – when the mistake bothers you – does not work.

To correct mistakes, you need both authority and love. Authority and love seem to be contradictory but in reality they are not. Authority without love is stifling and does not work, while love without authority is shallow. You need both but they need to be in the right combination so that you can be successful in correcting others mistakes. This can happen only if you are totally dispassionate and centered.

Do not tell a person about a mistake that he already knows he has made. What is the use of pointing out a mistake that he knows he has committed? By doing this, you will only make the person feel more guilty, defensive or resentful and this only creates more distance.

Before pointing out a person’s mistake, see whether your comments will help to improve the situation, foster love, or bring harmony. A magnanimous person does not point out the mistakes of others and make them feel guilty. Instead, they correct others’ mistakes with compassion and care, not through words but through their attitude.

Often, in establishing your righteousness, you are insensitive to the feelings of others. When someone is hurt, arguing with them and establishing your righteousness will be in vain. By simply saying ‘sorry’ you can uplift the other person and take away the bitterness. In many situations saying ‘sorry’ is better than establishing righteousness. It can’t avert much unpleasantness.

‘Sorry’ is a word of five letters, that when said sincerely, can remove anger, guilt, hatred and distance. Many people feel pride in hearing ‘sorry’ from others. It boosts their ego. But when you say ‘sorry’ to a wise man, it evokes compassion. A mistake is part of an unconscious mind. An unconscious mind cannot do right while a conscious mind can do no wrong.