Chapter 2 Story of a guy - Falling in Love

Its been a difficult time for him. He is just getting soaked in the feeling of being away from her. A cold fear of loneliness has grabbed him. The life seems so dull to him and he is completely unaware of her actions. He browses the Internet to see her profile all night thereafter just looking at her picture running his hands on the computer screen right at her face as if touching her cheeks just to tell her how much he cares for her. 

Its been not even a day and he is going nuts - Life seems so tough today for him. So uncertain, so empty and feeling of being lonely suddenly grabbed his mind. He scans through his cell phone number of times just to see if she called... every time the text message buzzes he gets excited to see if its her... but all in vain. Rest of the world is with him people who dint spoke to him over the years called him today - but still he is so depressed. How the day passed by he wonders - it felt as if he was just sitting in one corner of his room and the sun raised and settled. How the evening lights got turned on. He went out in evening to meet some old buddies even in their presence - there was a thought he kept feeling that - yeah there is something missing... terribly missing. He saw her online on the social network site. She was even online on chat - but because of his commitment to her of not to approach her till a week made resisted him to even say a HI. She kept playing some of the online games - he even helped her gain some extra points. It seemed to him as if he was doing his duties but never felt like ignoring her completely. The thought of ignoring her is devastating for him. 

 In the evening he wandered the streets of the city to see people around him - in less than 24 hours life has changed so much for him. Few days ago he had this feeling that the world belongs to me and I belong to the world and today he wonders if he is even a part of this world? His smile had disappeared somewhere, he wasn't feeling hungry at all - starving though but the food wont go in. His friends and parents wondered whats wrong with him! But what would he say about this new untold stories that happened in a fraction of a seconds in his life. He just left home late in the night to wander on the streets of the dark and cold road where only the street lights dwelling. He walks across the streets and then sits on the pavement reaching out to his pocket he removes his cell phone in the cold breezy night. He browses in the music player and plays the most played songs play list. Popping in the ear phones he gives out a sigh. As the music of guitar strings from his favorite song "Coming Back to life" of Pink Floyd hits his ears the sigh he gave out in the cold night looks like a steam from his mouth. He stares at the glimpse of the night lamps on the streets and the dark patches of the road in between them. 

In between the song his cell phones buzzes twice for a message, the first time he gets anxious when the message box opens up - could it be her? he asks himself - but he gets his answer. Its not her its a random forward by a friend about friendship. In the transition of the music he gets lost looking at the night fall by - forgetting that he is outside his home - he lies down on the pavement looking straight up in the sky, glancing his eyes on the deceptive clouds in the light of the moon. He is deep down in his thoughts wonders whether these clouds are like thoughts too - cause thoughts never stay at one place they keep flowing. That's when the second message buzzed. It was again a good night forward message. He looks at his wrist watch - both the hands of the watch meet each other - it was midnight. He decided to walk back home. As he walked the streets he saw his own shadow preceding with every step he took towards his destination. It struck him - may be this is life, you appear big and strong for a moment and then you fade away and rise again when the light of the divine falls on you. 

 After reaching home this poor guy had no control left over him - unable to decide what to do... he just lies down on the bed with earphones still in his ears. From the bed he looks at the ceiling and sometimes at his cell phone. Thinking what to do he scans his phone book and wonders whom to call - as he stops by her name. He becomes numb. He pops out the ear phones and cuddle the silence of the room. Wondering whatever he did was right or wrong should he had accepted the situation and moved on - was it the need of the hour for him to give her an opportunity to know him better - live without him for a while and wonder whether she really needs him or not? 

Leaving aside all these negativity - he remembers her - misses the most beautiful thing about her - the synergy of positivity he gets from her - something that is more or less has a divine nature. Something that soaks him into her eyes every time he looks at them. The thought of being with her again and this time till eternity brings him back to life. And remembering her he drifts off to sleep. Hoping that the new day will bring in some ray of hope for him. 

Chapter 1 Story of a guy - Falling in love

It is said that being in love is the most amazing feeling. Being in love makes you smile endlessly - the world looks an amazing place and the joy can be seen right on your face. The only difference here is that you are in love with the most amazing person in the world - who seems to be way too special to you, So special that the you feel inferior to the person leaving aside all your egos and self esteem.

The person who once thought of being egoistic now keeps telling himself that he is nothing without his partner. Now feels like a 4 year old, keeps smiling like a baby and goes out of the way to do anything for his partner. The one who never paid attention to conversations now leaves aside all his work just to hear her speak. Who smiles and feels great just to hear the excitement in her voice. Who feels her presence even when shes not around - her voice makes him sooth away all his despair feelings. He is now so dependent on her - for small small things of his life he is dependent on her decisions. He wants to be so much special for her - that he keeps asking himself - Am I the right person for her? These kind of thoughts paralyzes him makes him little insecure when she mentions about her other special friends.

The feeling of being with her - makes him feel so special - that he forgets everything in the world. He leaves aside all his work just to spend few seconds with her. He might end up travelling from corners of the world shelling out every penny in his pockets - just to see that smile on her face.He is still unaware of her thoughts for him but he doesn't cares for him - it doesn't matters - all that matters is that sweet smile on her face for him. For once when he used to feel jealous of the guys who hit on her and are now with her as friends - she values their friendship despite knowing that the fact that they committed a mistake. His respect for her grows multi-fold and he sees himself fall in love day in day out. He spends the rest of his night glued to his cell phone to hear her sweet voice in his ears which eventually echoes in his mind and heart 24/7 he finds it so difficult to sleep at nights because of all the thoughts keep pouring his mind. As time passes on - he finds himself checking out her pics, finding new ways to tell her that how special she is for him - to bridge the gap of friendship to a relationship - a relationship which is way to special than anything in the world for him.

And one day he finally finds some courage to share his feelings with her - how he feels way to special for her and wants to spend the rest of his life time with her. Not considering anything about his past and nothing about the future but just the present state of affairs - his sub conscious warns him though about the consequences he might land up himself but he doesn't fears anything and goes out and tells her whatever he has in mind. She takes time to understands - but doest reacts the way he expected. Though he is disappointed a little but doest reacts strongly - he sees a light of optimism in her response. The confusion she has been resting over the days - she becomes way too normal with him but he is still unable to gauge the situation. He soon becomes impatient and goes out of the way to woo her. He shows her the concern he has for her, he shows her that he wants to spent more and more time with her. She runs his mind 24/7 even in his dreams - when he is working - he finds it difficult to focus - this is the power of love! Life which was like piece of cake for him couple of days ago now seems way to difficult and complicated with no ray of hope for him.

He counts on his actions - he becomes way too cautious of his actions for her. He doest wants to look too caring at the same time wants to ensure that she is safe and sound. He wants to ensure that she keeps her self fit and fine but he cant go out of his way to extend her his help. He knows she has a huge friends circle - he cant mingle with her friends - to bring into the notice of everyone that there is something cooking up between the two. He feels like messaging her most of the time - just to know what is she upto or does she misses him the way he does her. He doesn't wants too look like a Chipku. He gets excited when she spends some quality time with him listening to his words and his stories. His expectations for her drops - he expects nothing from her but just a little time from her - just the feeling for him in her thoughts. He just wants her to know that he misses her alot. He wants to dedicate few romantic songs to her and wishes they could simply listen to those beautiful songs which suddenly mean a lot to him. Her response his not so great for this. Instead he decided to text her the lyrics of all these beautiful songs - she doest even reads them and thinks its just a forward and keeps her cell aside. Poor guy doesn't even knows how to react.- he is not bothered with this behavior of hers  - for the one you love you are so blind in their charisma - that you simply ignore those negativity about them to shower them with your love.

But the coming few days will not be so easy for him - as he sneaks in a corner of the dark room to wipe his continuous tears from his eyes. He feels so empty - so shallow about his feelings - the tears which were rolling down his eyes were now dried out. That shitty feeling within him rests for long - he wants to cry out loud but simply cant - instead he just stars thinking what went wrong! He figures out that how anxious he got to spend some time with her to top the list of her priorities. But he forgot to understand its been just few months he knows her and there is great deal of things he needs to know about this girl he is blindly in love with. He analyses that he got way too involved with her thoughts running in his mind. Right from day one he has been thinking about how to win her heart and how to make her feel special and be with her.

His heart is broken but he knows that broken hearts can be mended. He is pretty confident that one days she might just realise that he is really serious for her feelings and desires. He wants to fulfil her every dream and desires. But also be a watchdog in her life without interfering too much in her life.

He knows the key to happiness is not expecting too much from her but still he fails to understand that the love he is been looking for might not be available with her. He is still persistent on his emotional drive. He wants to give her time to figure out if she misses him in the coming few days - to an extent that they might like to spend time together. For this he ensures that he doesn't bother hers at all with any kind of communication directly between them, He knows its going to be difficult since the time he hanged up on her he has written few messages to her and saved them in his drafts .

Its like a quest for him and he doest knows how to react - he starts to stammer and chuckles during the conversation with her.. She is a great person at heart and he is still willing to go out of his way any day for the love of his life he is now just waiting for the right time.

All he knows that she is way to special for him and he loves her alot and would do anything to see her happy!

Silence of Eternity

When the Heart wishes to speak

And the silence of your eyes grabs me, 

The cold fear within me rises, 

Just dont wanna loose you...

I keep Numb and the silence exists

Can't reflect myself in your eyes.

I break the silence with a whisper

I love you is all I say

I wait for your turn, Looking deep in your eyes;

The heart pumps up and down as each second rises.

Your silence irritates me, can't understand why you are doing this?

You seem, fading away from me, cant understand why it happens???

Something is Happening

Something is happening!

There is silence all around me but in my heart I keep hearing your voice

The unique blend of harmony and melody is hitting my mind

Something is happening!

I don’t care about the world when you are with me

I feel special when you walk with me

There is a $ million smile on me these days I don’t know why but

Something is happening!

I shy away when you look at me

I blush when I talk about you to friends

I simply love talking about you and trust me I don’t know why but

Something is happening!

I don’t know what to tell the world

And I don’t have any explanations at all but

All I can say is that

Something is happening!

I keep looking at your pictures 24/7

Starring at the subtleness and softness in your eyes

There is something in you that’s making me crazy And I really don’t know why but

Something is happening!

The worst part is you are completely unaware

About my feelings and desires

Don’t know how to explain you that

Something is Happening!

Love is in the Air

See from my eyes and the world will look a beautiful place to you!!! Look at the sky, the flowing cool breeze at nights, when you sway yourself in the moving train and feel the breeze touch you, theres something about this air - if it brings a sense of joy on your face - you are surely in love! 

What does love means to you? Is it spending time with your loved ones? or is it simply the feeling of something good happening within you - a positive feeling that brings smile on your face no matter how difficult the situation is. Imagine this situation you meet your special someone today - and she or he just said something cool about you and you are flying in air - you board a train or just walking by the lane and someone bumps into you - whats your reaction - you don't scream or yell - you simply say its ok yaar! Hota hai!!! Just because you are in love... 

I feel this energy moving in me - its a like a synergy of motivation combined with a blend of positive perception where I see happiness all around me...and even if someone is sad I put in my efforts to ensure they feel happy about life...what else can you ask for if you can make someone smile by little or no efforts of yours! 

It feels great when you smile at someone - no matter who it is - whether you know them or you don't they will smile back at you... dont you feel great when someone smiles at you? Isnt smile an expression of love - imagine a day when everyone across smile at you!!! You can make it happen all you got to do is smile - the world will return it back to you... 

Walking down the street you see couples - holding their hands, expressing themselves.... the world looks beautiful with love all around us... you are lucky if you have someone to share those feelings with... if you dont have a partner dont feel disheartened - I am sure you have many close friends... your parents, your siblings, cousins, neighbors, relatives - the list is long... there are n number of people you can connect to if you are clean at heart and you know how to blend love and happiness to create the right mood to make those moments last long and special....

So this Diwali make the moments last much longer - feel special and spread some smiles across! I wish all my readers a very happy Diwali! 

been away for a long time

Hello guys!

Greetings and warm regards to all of you! Its been quite a long time I dint updated my blog. Nevertheless I am back to share some interesting stories with you all... do watch for this space in the coming days have some interesting ideas in mind....

Till then keep in touch - you can reach me on the yahoo messenger on the blog!

Regards

Sarthak

Lets talk about sex!

Lets talk about sex!

Most of us shy away when we read this topic and rest of us sheepishly laugh over the topic as if there is something really funny about it. If you are looking for some kinky and erotic stuff looking at the title stop reading NOW! 

Because you wont find any of this. That’s the reason why we are still a developing nation with bunch of people who know every thing in the country yet cant change the world. We are so immature in our thought process. I can hardly recollect any thing about sex education during my teenage period. We used to shy away look at girls and smile as if some joke was being said in the class. It is difficult to teach this subject in the classroom specially when you don’t have the support of the students and their parents. Some parents feel it is the most necessary thing a student would learn in a school because most of the parents themselves shy away discussing in open such topics with their child.

We take so much pride to say we are in the 21^st century, we don’t find it cool to wear a dhoti and kurta these days any more! We feel is no uncool! But when it comes to talking about sex! Look at the way we react, when something is being shown on the News about a sex racket being busted or about AIDS or simply about an Adv of a condom or Contraceptive pills we do nothing but change the channel immediately. That’s what we do we simply shy away from reality.

We accept the fact that we know everything but still we don’t miss a chance to read about the sex column in Mumbai Mirror and Mid day regularly. We don’t discuss about it with friends don’t warn them about the complications involved with Premature sex and problems of unsafe sex! It just because we never got that kind of education neither from our parents nor by our system!

The system is to be blamed on the larger perspective! When the Balbir Pasha campaign was a hit it was seen more as a humour among everyone! Still can we call it a success? What about introducing sex education to schools – dirty politics was being played by bunch of illiterate politicians who never saw the face of a school in their childhood but are proud owners of several medical and engineering colleges in the state!  

NOW it’s the time we take some action against all this, the youth of India is growing in big numbers in few years we will have a population half of youth – are we looking at the country with half of its population suffering from AIDS or problems of unprotected sex or STD (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) Its high time we think about the next generation to come in. When we get married we either be prepared to speak confidently with our partners about these things and ensure that our kids are taught of the basic hormonal changes they will undergo in their teens!

We as the youth have to take a pledge to stand up and speak up and ensure that people are aware of this fact that sex education is most important aspect in a teenagers life and cannot be ignored just because we are not confident to speak about it.

I welcome you all to post your comments and discuss how we can take this forward from where we are standing today!   

Promises are meant to be broken?

When it comes to keeping our promises why are we so vulnerable? When you promise someone something why cant you deliver that? Why is it that you forget your words and then make excuses when you are yourself doubtful at the outcome!

In life we have been fooled by people this way only and we too at some point of time or the other have done the same with people around us. What could be more frasturating to wait for someone for hours when you plan a meeting and the worst part could be the person you have come all the way to meet has not only ditched you but is also not answering your calls! I am sure you must have gone through this millions of time! And still you haven't learned from those mistakes the blind faith of trusting people is blended in your heart and soul in such a way that it cant be washed away!

Promises are meant to be broken they say in a poetic way! I say balls to these guys! My anger roars in 360 degree when important people and responsible people fail to realise their mistakes in the most inappropriate manner looking absolutely stupid. People who take pride to show off their designation, their value system, who play a major role in our lives when break promises, divert from their own words, when they play with your emotions, when they play with your belief in them an outrage of emotional imbalance rises in you and suddenly you feel the world is a cruel place where no one takes you seriously.

This is similar to the plight of a common man who walks by the streets of this country, travels in buses and trains with this hope that the responsible elected members of the parliament will keep their promises to make this country a better place to live in. But when they can't even stick to the oath they took to strive for this country, when they cant even attend the sessions of the house - the confidence and belief in them is gonna fade away. Similar is the case with you and me, will you ever trust again if the same person keeps breaking your faith n promises again n again?

So do you still beleive in Promises are meant to broken? Mind it, you dont break promises you break someones trust!

The changing face of Indian Streets

In the next few days this picture will be a common scenario at the streets of Mumbai and elsewhere across the metros in India. Because its only the Metros where the Flags are sold on the traffic signals and India is the only country where everything is sold at the traffic signal. This is just to provoke the integration of the Indian values among the dwellers of this great country.

Don’t be surprised if you see this little girl begging post Independence Day in front of your car tapping on your glass to feed her something. I am not simply criticising the integration of the people who reside in the metros but also the poor condition of the street children. This little girl’s name is Khushi – I took this picture last year on the streets of Mumbai. And I am sure I’ll find her yet again selling off these flags this year too. The only trouble is millions of kids like Khushi ply on the streets of the super power developing India. What do we do about it? We just sit back in our cars, shrug or simply shout at them when they tap our windows and criticize the rising poverty of this country.

We never imagine that these kids are the growing face of India, Khushi and her friends tomorrow will be the face of India and what will you see them doing tomorrow? For someone who spends most of her childhood begging what can be the future like? Can you imagine if you would have to beg day in and day out to all the people around you what will be turn out to be? Imagine begging your own parents to feed you, your siblings to love you, your friends to be with you and care for you. In Khushi’s case neither of this is possible since she has none! These little children undergo different levels of social abuse, rape, drugs selling and other elements which are really not worth listing too.

And thus so called care free youth of emerging India what do we do? We are forced to forget all these things and concentrate more on our struggles of surviving the competition. The competition in studies among all the engineers of this country, to competition among all the MBAs, the competition of staying ahead of the competition itself. We just don’t want to divert our attention from our own problems so what we do is simply ignore. Ignorance is the best way to remain happy with your own life isn’t it?

Closing your eyes and enjoy the chalta hai attitude. We should be thankful that we have such a great life where we can sit back relax and read the blogs on the internet, have time to chat with friends, have plenty of good food to eat and few little problems of which we ourselves know the solution still we like cribbing about it. We ourselves have made our life so complicated that even when we have the desire to the help someone the willingness fades away!

This independence day when you walk on the streets of this city look around to find may of these little children trying to sell the Indian Flag to you in a hope that may be they can now fulfil their desire of eating good food one day, probably buy a new dress or may be just feel happy that they earned something.

If after reading all this you feel sorry for Khushi and her friends, tell me how can we make a difference by doing something exciting about for them. If you wish to volunteer theres a NGO in Mumbai since 1991 who work for these street children here is the link for you to register as a volunteer. http://www.voiceofchildren.org/volunteer_01.html

Lets make a difference. Lets make more and more children smile and secure the future of India.

Tell me how will you make a difference this Independence day…

Cuddling the Silent Death

Like a silent arrow

It hits me deep within,

As the blood splashes out,

I close my eyes in despair.

The pain still exists

It rotten my soul

Like a deadly poison

As tears roll down my eyes,

I calmly sneak in a corner

To wipe them off,

I see my reflection,

On the blood splashed below.

Trying to stand on my feet,

I tremble in the darkness,

I fight with my will power,

But its too late...

As the hands of the clock meet.

My time has arrived,

I kiss goodbye to life

And embrace death as it comes..

Dreams are fuel for Human Minds!

Someone once told me that I dream alot. Yes! I am a day dreamer and some people say that Day Dreamers never achieve. The fact of the matter is that all men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recess of their minds, wake up to find it was all vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous, for they may act with open eyes and make things happen!

There are few things which have changed my entire way of looking at things, my perception has been newly defined to find new and varied interesting but weird ways to adopt myself in my new lifestyle.

As each day passes by, I discover the new me in my own true self. The small and little things make me wonder that how beautiful life is and how each creature lives up to his dreams and prays to overcome and conquer it.

The dream within is a source of happiness, a perception that keeps us alive, brings harmony to our lives, brings positive energy, an emotion that keeps us binded towards our goal and a belief that someday it will happen and our dream will come true.

A dream is a source of inspiration, a source of vision, the higher you dream, the more restless you are to chase your dreams, to work for it to run for it, to pursue it, to grab it and to achieve it.

People live life for dreams as dreams are promo of the real life struggle! The goal can be seen crisp clear shinning in the mindsets but the real picture is far different. That’s what fuels in the emotions and the desperation to chase those dreams!

Dreams are never broken! It’s the attitude to chase them and the passion to grab them is broken and weaken. Dreams are expectations that one has in life, that one particular dream, where one sees himself in all possible ways he can, achieving success boundlessly, luxury unaccountably, richness undefined and finally peace of mind.

Dreams are the fuel for human minds, because when you slog whole day a dream can change your life. It is a clear hint from your sub-conscious mind ‘ that look its time for you to change your attitude now and let the dream be chased’.

Dreaming is an extra ordinary talent, a power miraculously when channelized and used systematically in the right hands of the right people can bring revolutionary changes in the lives of the millions of people in the world and not simply your own life!

Sam Walton saw a dream, Gandhiji saw a dream, Ambani’s saw a dream and the Tata’s saw a dream & I see a dream every day. That I will be successful as them or even more! That’s my dream!

Confidence is the key to Success

Confidence and success go hand in hand… let me first define what is success mantra of my life? As an individual I have access to ample of information from the different sources, when I use this information at the right time and at the right place, it boosts my self confidence and people see me as a knowledgeable person, and when I club this knowledge with some kind of skill Its success for me. Confidence is a booster, an inner feeling which helps you to over come all your fears in life and simply make you live up to that Just do it attitude! Confidence is a perception that you need to develop as time passes by in your life, it’s a belief you carry about yourself, it makes you realise who you are. Because in your own heart you know who you are and what you want to be in life, people with high self confidence dream high in life to live up to their expectations, vice versa is the case with the losers.

Success has its own definition in the eyes of every individual, it’s a subjective term, but Confidence is the key to success. It’s the first step towards where you just try and forget about the consequences. When a small kid rides his first cycle, he gains confidence as he rides small patches of the road, though he looses his balance or even falls but the joy of riding makes him push the limits and go for it. Confidence to me and you is somewhere the same, in today’s life confidence is the fuel for human minds which enables them to chase their dreams and conquer whatever they want. Confidence, again to me is a belief that Never take a step backward not even to gain momentum, with this Die Hard attitude I believe that success will be yours. With a positive attitude you can take criticism in life, turn your failures into success stories, and finally just be yourself.

What is Life all about? A journey to discover yourself

I am back to my old rituals. I define life as a struggle to survive in the odds. More like a struggle for survival in a jungle. Life is to identify that one particular dream you have and work towards it. Dreams are the fuel for human minds they appeal to you in a way to keep you going on. Dreams ignite a fire within you, and make you chase those dreams. Dreams are the fuel for human minds as they ignite the fire within you and makes you chase those dreams.

Ever imagined a life without dreams? It’s like a rainbow without its seven colours. Life is a journey on a ship, as the ship sails on the waters of a sea. Trouble arises with as you sail in a storm knowing the fact that your ship can drown too. Life is similar to a ship, you are its captain and the wheel is in our hands. All you need to do is realise your role as a captain and reach to your destination that is your dream.

Life plays a gimmick with me always, I wonder sometimes when was the last time I went on a date and had a pleasure to join hands in hands with a beautiful girl. To fall in her eyes, look at her silky hair fall on the sides of her face. It was a wonderful journey some few years back. I must say those times were the golden days of my life.

Well coming back to Life. Life is a journey which takes you places makes you meet different species of people. Ever wondered what is that one thing that remains constant in our lives? That’s change – it’s only that one thing that is and will remain constant through out our lives.
How can you make this life a better place? Probably that’s one question each one of us has, and I believe we all struggle to find the answers all our life. Why do we require education? While the most of us believe that college life is one phase of your life where you decide what you want from life. According to me College days are the days where you get to press that RESET button in your life. No matter what you did in your past no matter what you intend to do in the future, college life is one phase in your life where you get to realise who you are and what you want in life? Is education all you want in life? Are friends what you are looking for? Or is it simply that you want to pursue some other stream. This is a golden phase in ones life. It’s a period where most of the people try to create an identity for each other. That’s where their uniqueness and attitude is formed for the life. College life is one phase which lays a foundation stone for the rest of your life.

Frankly speaking Life is not just a big deal just move on and with every step you take you will discover a new you. That’s why I say that life is nothing but self actualisation and in simple terms a journey to Rediscover yourself in your own eyes.